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Dear 2011-12 Chicago Blackhawks,

How’s it going? A little tough to look at direct sunlight, I’d assume. It’s okay. You’re allowed some time to grieve after being eliminated at the hands of Mike Smith the Phoenix Coyotes. Hell, I spent Monday night drowning myself in a bottle. We’ve been together for 16 years and, after all this time, seeing you go away for summer never gets easier.

I figured I’d take some time to address some of you today. Call it a healing exercise. Maybe it’s a preemptive strike on Festivus, because as the great Frank Costanza once said, “I’ve got a lot of problems with you people. And now, you’re going to hear about it.” (more…)